"Whenever you were in distress and turned to the Lord...and sought him out, you found him." 2 Chronicles 15:4
"He is your protecting shield and your triumphant sword!" Deut. 33:29
"The Lord is my strength, my shield from every danger, I trust in him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy." Psalm 28:7
How does God help us (you) in our (your) daily battles?
The most obvious way God helps us daily on the battles we face is through prayer. However, what do you do when one of your daily battles is finding time to pray?
I will be honest finding time to pray has been the hardest thing for me since I became a believer in 1997 and even when I got serious about that decision in 1999 I still struggled with finding time to pray consistently. It bothers me so much when pastors or other believers say things like "well you just have to do it" or "how can you not find time to pray?" Easy. I don't.
It isn't because I don't want to. Often times it is because I don't think about it. Or the moments I think about it I just can't "really" pray (i.e. like in the middle of a presentation or something at work). I have tried all kinds of really great ideas. I have left a note next to my bed in the morning that said "Pray". I have left a note in my bathroom, kitchen, on my door all saying the same thing. Most of the time, I never notice them. The times that I did notice them going to the bathroom and waking up seem much more important. I am also not the kind of person who wakes up with instant energy and is ready to go about his day. I am a slow waker-upper and it takes me a good 30 minutes before I can do much of anything in the morning.
So then the Christian taliban people tell me, "wake up an extra 30 minutes early to start your day." Yea right. That hasn't worked either. Then of course someone always breaks out the "well you just aren't disciplined enough." Which would be an easy out and often times I am not disciplined with other things in my life. However, here is the key thing when it comes to either having or not having discipline. You have to think about the activity you should be engaged in before you do or don't do it. For example, I train in Mixed Martial Arts and have many friends who do as well. When I have discipline to train it works like this in my head: "Andrew, don't forget you have MMA at 6:30 tonight." And then I go to train at 6:30. When I don't have discipline it usually goes like this "Andrew, don't forget you have MMA at 6:30 tonight." And then I just choose to not go. Those are examples of having and not having discipline.
Often times, especially in the morning the thought to pray or read my bible never enters the brain. Therefore, doing it or not doing it isn't a discipline thing because I never give myself the option. Outside of having a friend call me in the morning and pray with me (which would probably put an end to our friendship) I don't really think there is another option. Now I am sure some of you "Holy" people just exclaimed "well ask God to remind you to pray." First, get a life. Second, do you really think I haven't already tried this? Third, do you realize that asking him to remind me is also praying? Do you not see the problem here? lol Seriously people, pay attention!
Guess what? I have a solution!!
Okay actually I don't, but that is the point of this blog entry. I am just being real with you, my dear reader, that prayer for me and for many is difficult. I also share my struggle so when you are confronted by the Christian taliban type of person, the legalistic everything is always about Christianity person or the "I live in a Christian bubble and can't relate to real people" person that you are NOT alone. In fact, those people are probably much more alone than you are. Finding time to pray is difficult for me and I am not going to pretend it is not. I lose sleep over not praying, so then I pray I can fall asleep but then I feel like a jackass for finding time to pray about my sleep but not finding time to pray about others or myself. Yet if I lay there and start praying for others I will most likely fall asleep in under two minutes. Yet if I get up so I don't fall asleep so I can pray for others I am back at square one and unable to sleep cause now I am all pumped after praying. It is a vicious circle I tell you!
Last item before I call it a day on this blog and go about my business. Today in church I was feeling ummm...what is the word....worthless. Yea that is pretty good. Not in the sense of I have nothing to offer or I am a loser. Just in the sense of I feel worthless in my faith. I feel like I am not being used by God or more likely not allowing God to use me. I found myself struggling this morning with my direction and purpose in life a little bit. Don't get me wrong I actually do love my job (not the culture of my job but my job is great) but I am not passionate about it. I feel like life is passing me by and I am doing nothing to further the cause of Christ. I am not a lazy person and have a deep and passionate desire to serve him. I just know that going to church and having a bible study is not what I am only called to do. I know I am called to do more and bigger things but feel lost as to how to start, where to start or if to start.
So what does that ultimately lead me back to? *sigh* prayer...ugh. I know I have to do it. I know I have to be better. I don't have high hopes it will get better as I have been saved for going on 15 years (wow I cannot believe it has been that long). That being said my pastor @stephenhickson has challenged us all as a church to take the 3*5*7 challenge. Which is basically praying 3 times a day for 5 minutes for 7 days. While it sounds easy I know it is going to be hard as hell, especially on the weekend. Let's do it!!
P.S. for those of you wanting an update on the Red Sox v Yankees I have to put up pictures first and then will share my story :)
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