Walk the Line

Johnny and June Cash

Many of you may be surprised that my favorite movie of all time is "Walk the Line".  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the movie it is based on the life of Johnny Cash.  I own the movie but whenever it comes on T.V. I will stop what I am doing to watch it.  I am a huge fan of Johnny Cash and his music but also a fan of the Man in Black's life story.  The movie is based on several books about his life and the recollections of his son John Carter Cash.

This week Walk the Line was on T.V. and caught the last 15 minutes of it.  My wife, Sharlay came to sit on the couch with me and I said "I just want to watch the end of this movie because it is my favorite movie and my favorite part.  I know you don't care for the movie but please do not ruin if for me."  Sure enough when the movie was ending she started to go on a rant about how Johnny Cash had cheated on his wife, referring to June Carter Cash as a "whore."  I looked at her and said "What did I just say about not ruining this movie?!"  We narrowly avoided an argument over something that is fairly insignificant.  Now today I just wanted to write about why I love the movie and why I respect Johnny Cash.

Having been cheated on more times than I would like to think about (Sharlay has not done so in case you think this is written about her) I understand the pain that comes along with having your partner be unfaithful.  I also understand how that influences once's opinion of other people who have cheated on their spouse or significant other.  Johnny was a dumb ass for cheating on his first wife and normally I wouldn't respect a man who had done so.  However, Johnny Cash also knew he was a dumb ass.  He made no bones about the fact he was a bad husband to Vivian (his first wife) and an absent father to their four children for the entirety of the marriage.  When he was interviewed later in life he always expressed regret for his behavior and poor choices.  This included heavy alcohol and drug abuse.

Yet I cannot turn away from a man who experienced such great redemption in his own life.  Not only that but his love for June Carter and their subsequent marriage of 35 years is astonishing and something people should pay attention to.  I know he cheated on his wife.  Yet it was through his love for June that Christ got a hold of his heart and helped to change his life.  For a man who apparently trusted few people and was close to almost no one early in his career, he trusted June (and her family) to help him get through one of the darkest periods of his life.  June loved him for the man she could see him one day becoming.  She loved him because she knew (in my opinion) that she was the only person who could help him see the need to turn his life around.  There is no doubt, Johnny was a difficult man to be around at times (even John new that) but June was the perfect match to be able to handle him.

June didn't put up with a lot of his behaviors and had no problem calling him out when "Cash" appeared rather than her friend John.  Whenever you see old interviews of them together you can just tell how much in love they were with each other.  To reach the level of success they had and to spend 35 years in marriage and touring together and yet maintain a good marriage is an amazing feat.  No matter what the younger Johnny did and the mistakes he made; he tried to dedicate himself to being a better man, husband and father afterwards.  As is the case with many husbands and wives, June and Johnny passed away within four months of each other in 2003.

When a man has the love of a woman like June behind him there isn't anything he cannot accomplish in life.  When a woman who loves a man like June loved Johnny, it can only propel him to want to be better; to want to achieve something great.  Finding something similar in my own life was a goal I set out to achieve.  I realize that sounds silly to many of you reading this but it is true.  That was one of my goals.  I wanted to find a woman who would love me in such a way that I couldn't ever settle for just being an average man.

One of my favorite scenes from another movie is "As Good as It Gets" with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt which hits the nail right on the head.  Jack plays Melvin and Helen plays Carol.  If you haven't seen this movie you should.

You can watch the clip here.

Melvin tells Carol: "You make me want to be a better man."

That is amazing.  That is what I had been looking for my whole life.  I believe that is what Johnny found in his love for June.  For years people (best friends included) have said that "Maybe I should just compromise for what I was looking for in a spouse" or "Your standards aren't realistic, you will be alone forever."  I refused to believe them.  Not because of Johnny Cash or Melvin.  I refused to believe them because I knew in my heart God had something amazing planned for me.  There was someone out there that God was going to knock me over with.  That he was going to provide me a wife that was everything I ever wanted, imagined our could have ever hoped for.

I refused to listen to the negativity of people around me and kept pressing into God and kept looking (sometimes it felt like hunting) for my wife.  I was diligent.  I was persistent.  I persevered through some crazy ass stuff let me tell you; in Minnesota, Virginia, New York, Ohio and even Tennessee (I hate Nashville by the way.)

I knew one day I would find a woman who made me feel the way June made Johnny feel and the way Carol made Melvin feel.  One day I knew I would meet a woman and it would just be "right" and there would be no doubt in my mind she was my wife.  When people ask me how I knew Sharlay was my wife it was simple I say, "She makes me want to be a better man."  Every day. Every minute. Every second.  I want to be a better man for her, for God and for the people I am connected to.

Movies like "Walk the Line" and "As Good As It Gets" always encouraged me before I was married that what I dreamed for was possible (even if Melvin is fictional).  Now when I have the chance to watch them they simply make me happy that I refused to give up or give in.  I have no regrets (although a lot of heartache) from past relationships.  I love Sharlay more than I ever thought possible to love someone.  The scary thing is she probably loves me more (just ask her.) I have no idea how that is even possible.

I am not ashamed to admit that both of those movies make me cry.  When Johnny proposes to June on stage (which he did in real life) and when Melivn says Carol makes him want to be a better man, rarely am I not at least choked up. June helped to turn Johnny's life around. Carol made Melvin want to be better.  Sharlay's love for me has transformed me even in the short time we have been together.  I know we are just creeping up on four months and many people tell me it can't and that it won't last.  I just chuckle and say "You also told me I would never find someone like Sharlay. So now what?"

Dedicated to the most wonderful, beautiful and amazing woman on this planet: Sharlay Sloss