Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson) is Satan

First of all before I even start let me just say how HUGE of a fan of Nick Offerman I was prior to March 1st, 2013.  If you don't know who Nick Offerman is than you clearly don't watch Parks N Rec on NBC-which was previously one of my favorite shows.  You should stop reading now if that is the case.  Second, I don't really believe Nick is Satan.  If you can't tell what a joke is then you should stop reading this immediately.

I had several Ron Swanson related pictures (that sounds weird) at work including a Ron Swanson cut-out mask hung on the wall in my cube.  I even had a Facebook photo album with Ron Swanson related pictures of him, his 'stache and BACON! Ron was one of my all time favorite characters on TV (technically he still is I guess) and a guaranteed riot every time he was on the screen: "I don't care for strip clubs but I will take a free breakfast buffet anywhere I can get it."

Needless to say when I heard he was going on Tour ("Ham Tour") I was super excited!  I purchased two tickets for Sharlay and I the first opportunity I could.  It was a birthday present to myself; turns out it was one of the worst gifts I have ever received.  The irony of the situation is certainly not lost on me.

Nick's tour isn't really a stand up comedy act, although it is meant to be funny.  His shtick is basically standing on stage for 90 minutes discussing his 10 Keys for a Happy Life (or something like that.)  Sadly 70% of them all revolve around his hatred for God, Christians, Jesus and the Bible.  The rest are a smattering of his view on marriage, red meat, music, technology and politics.  Both my wife and I left the theater very disappointed and upset we had wasted our money.

Those of you who know me well understand I am not a fan of "Christian-ease" nor do I make it a practice to claim offense very often when dealing with things outside of the Christian subculture. However, I can honestly say my spirit was heavily grieved by what I watched that night.  I am reluctant to use that phrase when it has been so heavily misused by religious Christians but that is the only way to describe how I felt leaving the theater.  It honestly ruined my entire evening.  I was so sad (grieved is really a better word for how I felt) for Nick and his flippant attitude towards God.

Don't get be wrong.  I don't expect celebrities or athletes to be Christians nor do I expect them to have similar beliefs in order to appreciate their skills and talents.  Not everyone believes in God.  Not everyone practices their faith even if they do believe in God.  Not everyone is going to believe in the same God as I do.  No problem.  I can handle and accept that.  However, this was something different.  This was a man I had a certain level of respect for who is touring the country slandering my God, disrespecting my spiritual beliefs and making a mockery of Jesus Christ while getting paid large sums of money to do so.

You don't have to believe in God or Jesus Christ. However, I draw the line at disrespecting my faith and mocking my God.  If he tried the same approach with Muslim's, Buddhists or other religions he would be labeled: bigot, racist, fundamentalist, hateful etc.  The Bible warns about mockery and mocking God (See 2 Chronicles 36:16, Galatians 6:7) and as a man of God I won't stand for it or support it.

I can't do it.  I can't support someone who has so little respect for another person's beliefs.  I took down all my Ron Swanson stuff in my cube and threw it away.  I deleted my photo album.  I stopped recording Parks N Rec and deleted all the old ones from my DVR.  I even went as far as to write a poor review on the Ticket Master website-although I doubt anyone would care.  This was not easy for me to do.  It was sad to be honest.  I love laughing (who doesn't?); Parks N Rec and Ron Swanson could make me laugh every time.  It was a "go-to" sometimes when I was in a bad mood and we loved watching the show on Thursday nights.

I don't expect others to draw the same line in the sand as I have done.  This is just a personal conviction I have.  If you love Ron Swanson, please continue to enjoy him and all the bacon and eggs that you have.  Get swept up in a Meat Tornado and indulge yourself in a Turf N Turf.  For me and my house this is the end of our relationship with Ron Swanson and thereby Nick Offerman.  It was a good run but like all good things they must come to an end.  Ron Swanson you are like 5000 candles in the wind...

Walk the Line

Johnny and June Cash

Many of you may be surprised that my favorite movie of all time is "Walk the Line".  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the movie it is based on the life of Johnny Cash.  I own the movie but whenever it comes on T.V. I will stop what I am doing to watch it.  I am a huge fan of Johnny Cash and his music but also a fan of the Man in Black's life story.  The movie is based on several books about his life and the recollections of his son John Carter Cash.

This week Walk the Line was on T.V. and caught the last 15 minutes of it.  My wife, Sharlay came to sit on the couch with me and I said "I just want to watch the end of this movie because it is my favorite movie and my favorite part.  I know you don't care for the movie but please do not ruin if for me."  Sure enough when the movie was ending she started to go on a rant about how Johnny Cash had cheated on his wife, referring to June Carter Cash as a "whore."  I looked at her and said "What did I just say about not ruining this movie?!"  We narrowly avoided an argument over something that is fairly insignificant.  Now today I just wanted to write about why I love the movie and why I respect Johnny Cash.

Having been cheated on more times than I would like to think about (Sharlay has not done so in case you think this is written about her) I understand the pain that comes along with having your partner be unfaithful.  I also understand how that influences once's opinion of other people who have cheated on their spouse or significant other.  Johnny was a dumb ass for cheating on his first wife and normally I wouldn't respect a man who had done so.  However, Johnny Cash also knew he was a dumb ass.  He made no bones about the fact he was a bad husband to Vivian (his first wife) and an absent father to their four children for the entirety of the marriage.  When he was interviewed later in life he always expressed regret for his behavior and poor choices.  This included heavy alcohol and drug abuse.

Yet I cannot turn away from a man who experienced such great redemption in his own life.  Not only that but his love for June Carter and their subsequent marriage of 35 years is astonishing and something people should pay attention to.  I know he cheated on his wife.  Yet it was through his love for June that Christ got a hold of his heart and helped to change his life.  For a man who apparently trusted few people and was close to almost no one early in his career, he trusted June (and her family) to help him get through one of the darkest periods of his life.  June loved him for the man she could see him one day becoming.  She loved him because she knew (in my opinion) that she was the only person who could help him see the need to turn his life around.  There is no doubt, Johnny was a difficult man to be around at times (even John new that) but June was the perfect match to be able to handle him.

June didn't put up with a lot of his behaviors and had no problem calling him out when "Cash" appeared rather than her friend John.  Whenever you see old interviews of them together you can just tell how much in love they were with each other.  To reach the level of success they had and to spend 35 years in marriage and touring together and yet maintain a good marriage is an amazing feat.  No matter what the younger Johnny did and the mistakes he made; he tried to dedicate himself to being a better man, husband and father afterwards.  As is the case with many husbands and wives, June and Johnny passed away within four months of each other in 2003.

When a man has the love of a woman like June behind him there isn't anything he cannot accomplish in life.  When a woman who loves a man like June loved Johnny, it can only propel him to want to be better; to want to achieve something great.  Finding something similar in my own life was a goal I set out to achieve.  I realize that sounds silly to many of you reading this but it is true.  That was one of my goals.  I wanted to find a woman who would love me in such a way that I couldn't ever settle for just being an average man.

One of my favorite scenes from another movie is "As Good as It Gets" with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt which hits the nail right on the head.  Jack plays Melvin and Helen plays Carol.  If you haven't seen this movie you should.

You can watch the clip here.

Melvin tells Carol: "You make me want to be a better man."

That is amazing.  That is what I had been looking for my whole life.  I believe that is what Johnny found in his love for June.  For years people (best friends included) have said that "Maybe I should just compromise for what I was looking for in a spouse" or "Your standards aren't realistic, you will be alone forever."  I refused to believe them.  Not because of Johnny Cash or Melvin.  I refused to believe them because I knew in my heart God had something amazing planned for me.  There was someone out there that God was going to knock me over with.  That he was going to provide me a wife that was everything I ever wanted, imagined our could have ever hoped for.

I refused to listen to the negativity of people around me and kept pressing into God and kept looking (sometimes it felt like hunting) for my wife.  I was diligent.  I was persistent.  I persevered through some crazy ass stuff let me tell you; in Minnesota, Virginia, New York, Ohio and even Tennessee (I hate Nashville by the way.)

I knew one day I would find a woman who made me feel the way June made Johnny feel and the way Carol made Melvin feel.  One day I knew I would meet a woman and it would just be "right" and there would be no doubt in my mind she was my wife.  When people ask me how I knew Sharlay was my wife it was simple I say, "She makes me want to be a better man."  Every day. Every minute. Every second.  I want to be a better man for her, for God and for the people I am connected to.

Movies like "Walk the Line" and "As Good As It Gets" always encouraged me before I was married that what I dreamed for was possible (even if Melvin is fictional).  Now when I have the chance to watch them they simply make me happy that I refused to give up or give in.  I have no regrets (although a lot of heartache) from past relationships.  I love Sharlay more than I ever thought possible to love someone.  The scary thing is she probably loves me more (just ask her.) I have no idea how that is even possible.

I am not ashamed to admit that both of those movies make me cry.  When Johnny proposes to June on stage (which he did in real life) and when Melivn says Carol makes him want to be a better man, rarely am I not at least choked up. June helped to turn Johnny's life around. Carol made Melvin want to be better.  Sharlay's love for me has transformed me even in the short time we have been together.  I know we are just creeping up on four months and many people tell me it can't and that it won't last.  I just chuckle and say "You also told me I would never find someone like Sharlay. So now what?"

Dedicated to the most wonderful, beautiful and amazing woman on this planet: Sharlay Sloss